the scare.

WARNING: Graphic preganancy talk will follow. This post may not be appropriate for all males or those with a weak stomach. Or those who hate TMI.

Tuesday August 9th 2011 started out as a normal morning. Ran. Made brekky for Bri and I. Bri left for work. I went pee for the 15th time that morning...not really, but it feels like it. HERE IS THE GRAPHIC PART. When I wiped, I looked down and to my horror I saw bright red blood on the tissue paper. THIS IS NOT GOOD. I wasn't having any sort of cramping, and there wasn't any more blood aside from the one wipe, but I thought I should call the doctor's office to be sure. At this point I was calm....strangely calm. I called my OB's office and talked to a nurse. After I gave my story, still calm, she said, "We need an ultra sound immediately." "We are all booked today, but I'm gonna get you into an Imaging Center IMMEDIATELY." She proceeded to tell me I needed to drink 32 oz of water and be at the Imaging Center in one hour. I was NO LONGER CALM. Reality was sinking in...I may have lost bubs. And I was no longer calm. I was hysterical. In the midst of my tears (sobbing, rather) I called Brian and told him he needed to come home IMMEDIATELY. Side note, I HATE the word immediately now. While I was waiting for him to get home, I opened my Bible to a passage we've been studying on Sunday mornings at church: Daniel 3:17. "I know My God can deliever me, but EVEN IF He DOESN'T, I will still worship Him." Not an easy verse to choke down in a time of crisis. I pleaded with the Lord and told Him I wasn't ready for "even if You don't". More than anything, I just wanted bubs to be healthy and thriving. However, I also believe in the soverignty of God. And in those hysterical moments with my tears hitting the pages of my Bible, the Lord reminded me that bubs doesn't BELONG to me. Bubs belongs to the Lord. And He, if He so chooses, entrusts Brian and I to raise it while on Earth.

Bri came in the door, and I could tell he was trying to be strong, but I could see the sheer panic in his eyes. We prayed together, I drank the LOADS of water, and we headed for the Ultrasound. After what seemed like years....I just wanted to see bubs AND pee....we arrived. After a short wait, the u/s tech came and got us. She put the jelly on my belly, and then....

THERE WAS OUR BUBS. Alive. Thriving. And KICKING like a maniac! It was the most beautiful and precious sight I've ever seen. I immediately burst into tears of relief, joy, and thanksgiving. And I looked over and Bri was doing the same. Our tears turned to laughter after we watched bubs kick, punch, and flip flop! The tech said the baby looked PERFECT and HEALTHY. However, we did find out that I'm a week behind what we first thought. So my new due date is February 21st 2012, which makes me 14 weeks, currently. And the heartrate was 174 bpm...its increasing, folks! After the tech checked me and gave bubs and I the "all clear" I finally got to PEE! I was begining to fear I was gonna pee all over the tech...ha!

After my OB got the report from the U/S Tech, she called me to let me know that everything was normal. However, the reason for the spotting was due to a copus luteum cyst, which is completely normal in the 1st trimester. There is a very medical reason, but I won't bore you. The cyst will dissolve on its on during the 2nd trimester. But its no threat to bubs or me.

This is the toughest moment in the adventures of parenting for Bri and I, but I know this is just the beginning of many sleepless nights and days due to worrying... But I was thankful for the reminder that this bubs does NOT belong to Bri and I. We are just extremely blessed to raise bubs to love and serve the Lord. A lesson I'm sure I'll be reminded of...A LOT!

Be looking forward to pics of our 1st family vacation to Texas! And later this week, I'll have up my 14 week pic! We're officially in the 2nd trimester...woohoo!

{12 weeks}.

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 12 weeks

Size of baby: 2 inches long and about .5 ounce. Our bub is the size of a lime!

Maternity Clothes: Not yet, but looking forward to it!

Gender: Don't know yet!!

Movement: In the last week , I think I have felt some flutters! It's when I am laying in bed late at night when I have felt this little movement.

Sleep: I'm sleeping great, except for the crazy dreams and trips to the bathroom! I LOVE sleeping on my side.

Symptoms: Fatigue in the afternoon and mild hearburn. ITS ALL WORTH IT!

What I miss: Starbucks. Caffeine in general.

Cravings: Fruit, anything salty, and cheese. I just want to smoother everything in cheese! Don't worry, I refrain!

Best Moment this week: Hearing our precious bub's heartbeat! Words cannot describe it. It was the BEST thing I've ever heard. Funny story, well it doesn't start out funny but ends up that way, so keep reading. Before our dr's appointment, my sweet friend told me not to freak out because it takes a while to locate the heartbeat with the doppler. However I did not listen. While we were waiting for the doctor, I was FREAKING out. I was so afraid we were not going to hear the precious thumping of our little one's heart. Bless Bri's heart, he tried to take my mind off of it, but to no success. As the doctor put the cold jelly on my stomach, Brian took my hand and we waited. Side note, can I just say that process was not comfortable?! So much pressure on my full belly! Anyway, the dr searched for the heartbeat. And searched. And searched. And all we heard was mine. Brian could tell panic had sunk in and he kept squeezing my hand and whispering prayers in faith. Can I just say he is simply amazing? He is going to be such a phenomnal daddy. As my anxiety was mounting I prayed that the Lord would prepare me for whatever was going to happen next. And then it came. That glorious sound. It was the quick thudding of our miracle's little heartbeat. I giggled in delight, and then immediately burst into tears of relief and joy. And I might add, both sound hysterical on the doppler. The dr proceeded to tell us the heart rate was healthy and everything was normal. In my euphoric and relief state, I forgot to ask the BPM. Can you believe it?! My first task as a mom....fail. Bad mom. It wasn't until we were having our celebratory heartbeat lunch that I realized I had no idea what the heart rate was. I went from joy to disappointment in a matter of seconds...thank you hormones. However, I called the dr's office and they were kind enough to tell me. I must say, that wasn't without the nurse laughing at me first. She thought it was humerous. I'm glad someone did. I will be writing EVERYTHING down from now on. The pregnant mind cannot be trusted! Ha! I'm happy to report our bub's heart is beating at 160bpm!

What I am looking forward to: Our first family vacation to Texas! Next week Bri, bub, and I all travel to Texas to spend time with my sis and bro-in-law. Yippee for family vacations!

Advice Needed...

Okay, so this post is especially for all those mommies or mommies to be in blog-land. I'm in need of some baby book/scrapbooking advice. I love being creative and I didn't want to do a normal baby book/scrapbook, so when I heard about this particular creative idea I was stoked! I want to start an online baby scrapbook that also has a blog/journal feature. Yesterday I set out to research companies/designers that did this, and I was overwhelmed with all the options. So this is where you come in...those of who have an online baby scrapbook...do you like it? Who would you recommend? Your advice and wisdom is appreciated!

On another note, we have another doctor's appointment tomorrow, and we get to hear bub's heartbeat...cannot begin to express our excitement! I absolutely LOVE my OB, however, at the first appointment you get a pregnancy orientation of sorts, give blood and urine to confirm pregnancy, and thats it! So this is the first time we'll get to hear our precious bub's hearbeat. I'm packing the kleenex. Tear will be a flowin!

Important Announcement...

Yep, that's right, we're PREGNANT! We're both SOOOO excited. I'm 11 weeks, so our due date is Valentine's Day 2012! How appropriate. We've had a blast spilling the beans to family and friends. Its been such a blessing to be surrounded by so many that are absolutely elated for us! But my favorite moment, so far, was telling my precious hubby.

Here's the scoop...So let me back up about a week and a half prior to the glorious day. My monthly visitor was late and I'm NEVER late. I'm like clockwork. So I got a bit suspicious. And not gonna lie, giddy with the possibility we could be pregnant. Woke up the next morning, took the test, negative. I was crushed. And a lot more upset than I thought I'd be. Fast forward a week and a half. Saturday night. Still no monthly visitor. Along with some other 1st trimester symptoms, but I'll spare you the icky details. But I pushed the fleeting pregancy thought out of my head. I didn't want the disappointment, yet again. However, I woke up EARLY, EARLY Sunday morning with unexplainable joy and peace. I can't put into words what I was feeling. I went straight for the bathroom and took a pregnancy test. My hubby was still snoozing in bed. Sure enough I was pregnant. However, due to my negative test just a little over a week ago, I took about 5 others...OCD, much?! And they all came to the same conclusion: I was carrying a precious bubs. As much as I wanted to wake Bri up, I wanted to tell him in a creative way. So I contained my excitement, which if you know me, you know how difficult this was.

I knew Bri was due to be up in just a few short minutes, so I got back in bed, to not seem suspicious. However, I think the smile from ear to ear at 5:30am, might have been a bit of a giveaway. But Bri didn't let on that he knew. He did keep commenting what a great mood I was in so early! I sucessfully kept my mouth shut as Bri headed to prayer meeting before morning service. I made it all the way through student small groups and service. Since it takes Bri awhile to leave on Sundays, I left church a tad early and picked up a picnic lunch, a card, and 2 onesies. I picked him up from church and told him I had a surprise since he's been so busy with work (true, story).

I took him to our 1st date location: Lake Jacomo. We had a picnic lunch. Before we ate, I gave Brian the card and told him to open his present. As soon as he opened that onesie, his eyes welled up with tears and exclaimed, "Are you serious?!" We celebrated over our picnic lunch with many, many tears and laughter of thanksgiving. My hubby's tender spirit never ceases to touch my heart. I can't wait to see him as a "daddy."

Our concieving is so special. We were told getting pregnant would be extremely difficult, and possibly a hard road for us. But our God is ABLE! And we're spending this precious days so thankful for our bubs. Its inconceivable how much I love this baby that I've never met. So thankful. I will leave you with a couple more pics of our special day...

Whats in YOUR hand?

After a night full of chronic coughing, chills, sweats, burning sensation in my nasal cavity, and really anything else that did NOT include sleeping, I decided to go to the doctor. My precious hubs took me to the doctor first thing on Wednesday morning. I must back up and say 2 weeks prior to this, I went to the doctor and found out I had a bacterial infection. Got some great drugs. End of story. Or so I thought. Back to present day, the doctor informed me on Wednesday that the zpack of antibiotics did NOT clear up the bacterial infection and it actually got worse. I had pneumonia. What? I don't think this doctor understood. I didn't have TIME for pneumonia. I had a full week and NO time for sitting in bed sick. As my to do list for the week was whirling around in my head I heard my doctor, "Erika, Erika...." I snapped back to reality to hear his strict instructions. He went on to tell me he was going to prescribe some heavy duty anitbiotics, but I needed to be in bed the REST of the week and then take it easy for the next couple of weeks. I think his exact words were "SLOW DOWN" until you feel 100%. If you know me, those are dirty words. Slow down? Does he understand my week? Or month of April for that matter? There is NO time to slow down. However, my coughing fits and exhausted state won over. I was just gonna have to do just that. Slow down. Sleep. Let myself be sick.... And this is where God began to work...

Before I go on, I must brag on my hubs. He has been nothing short of AMAZING through all of it. He has waited on me hand and foot. My love for him has only grown.

As I was lying in bed, absolutely miserable (feeling VERY sorry for myself), the Lord stirred my Spirit to pick up my Bible. "Really, God?! Now?! I can barely hold my head up." But I've argued enough with the Lord to know that he ALWAYS wins, so I decided to cut it short and just be obedient. I grabbed my Bible. And I began read story after story of women who used what they had to minister to others and bring glory to God. And I knew God was asking the same of me, "Erika what is in your hand. Right now. What do you have?" All I had in my hand was a kleenex. Ha! But in all seriousness, I didn't understand why God was asking me this question NOW. There wasn't anything I could do lying in bed with pneumonia. "God I don't have ANYTHING in my hand. Wait until next week. I'll use whats in my hand next week. But I can't do anything now." I closed my bible, and I went back to feeling sorry for myself. But that nagging question kept me from my pity party. "Whats in YOUR hand, Erika?" I gave up. Again. Grabbed my bible, journal, and kept studying these women's stories that all used what the good Lord put in their hand. And I noticed something about EACH woman in all these different stories, they used what God gave them AT THAT MOMENT. They didn't wait until they were in a position of more influence, power, or had more time. They used what they had at that moment. Let me show you.

In 2 Kings 4:8-17, 8:1-6 we find the story of the woman of Shunem. She wasn't, in the world's eyes, anything special. She wasn't a queen. Didn't have a lot of money. Wasn't in a position of power. She was a simple woman who used what she had, in this case her home, as a place of ministry. Later on when tragedy threatened to hit her household she maintained the right attitude and right atmosphere in her home, despite circumstances. She used what was in her hand...

The 1st chapter of Ruth, we see a broken Naomi who has LOST everything. But Ruth used what was in her hand. She refused to leave Naomi. She was loyal to her desolate mother-in-law. She didn't wait until she'd made enough money, or earned a position of prestige. She used what she had. "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severly, if anything but death separated you and me," (vs 16-17). Ruth used what was in her hand...

The story of Abigail, found in 1 Samuel 25, shows us that despite her wicked husband she used what was in her hand. She showed sound judgement, prudence, and a sober mind in her response to her husband's insulting behaviour toward David and his men. Because she used what was in her hand, she prevented her household from ruin.

I can recall so many times reading these stories of God using these AMAZING women and thinking, I can't wait for God to raise me up. I can't wait until God gives me my platform. I'm gonna do great things for him. And I don't think I'm alone in this thinking. So many times we tell God, "I'm gonna do great things for you...one day." "When you give me 100 people in my ministry, we're gonna do great things for you." Or "God when you raise me up as a person of influence in my community, we're gonna see a great revival." When I read these phenomenal stories over the other day, the ONE thing that struck me was, they USED what was in THEIR hand RIGHT then. They didn't wait until they had more money. Or power. Or influence. They used what God had placed in their hand. At that VERY moment. In that specific circumstance.

I'm typing you from Day 5, on the couch, with pneumonia. But I'm using whats in my hand. I'm not waiting for my circumstance to change.

What's in YOUR hand? For such a time is this...

Good.

One of my favorite songs right now is "Forever Reign" by Hillsong...thats a shocker, I know. My favourite line in the song is the opening line, "You are good, you are good when there's NOTHING good in me." Nothing. Such a strong word. It sounds pretty harsh. As we sang this over the past weekend, I really began pondering the word "good." And then it appeared in a bible study I'm doing based on Titus 2. I think the good Lord is trying to tell me something...

Good. There is a big movement in our society to "do good." A big emphasis is being placed on doing for others. You see a lot of commercials on TV promoting all sorts of activist groups that Hollywood Stars are founding. In light of our current events with Japan, New Zealand, Australia, the list could go on and on; everywhere you turn people are "doing good" to help these victims of injustice. Do participating in these worthy causes make us good? Is being good defined by doing something nice or helping other people? Many scholars will tell you that as humans we are born good. There is some level of goodness in us. Leading psychologists teach that we are the product of our environment and that defines our state of "good." However, after studying the Word, it is NONE of these...

"I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, my sinful nature," Roman 7:18.

"All of us have become like one who is unclean, and ALL our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away," Isaiah 64:6.

The list could go on and on of the scriptures I found on humanity and being good. And the conclusion was the same, there is NOTHING good in me. In other words, in my FLESH (key word) there is NOTHING good in me. Now this seems like a bummer, but here is some good news...

"Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?" Jesus responded, "Why do you ask me about what is good?" "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments." Matthew 19:16-17 *I strongly urge you to grab your Bible and read the rest of the story. Its life changing, but its another post:)

These two verses teach us the definition of good. The LORD is good. He is the standard of goodness. We don't measure up. We can do good all day long, and we still won't make the cut...on our own...in our flesh...here is where it gets "good"...

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1st John 1:9

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet he did not sin Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:15-16

These verses, among a ton others in the Word, tell us God offers his goodness to US. God who defines GOOD desires to cleanse us. We can receive his goodness. God can clean our "filthy" selves and make us new. We can try and give and do all day long, but on our OWN we will always come up short. It is ONLY in the saving power of Christ, through salvation, can we as humans receive goodness. If you are reading this, and do not know Christ or have recieved his goodness through salvation, and want to know more, please leave me a comment or email me at elopperman@gmail.com.

And here is the good news for us as Christians. In our flesh we are nothing but filthy rags. But by the power of salvation, we are more than conquererors (Romans 8:37). We are co heirs with Christ (Romans 8:17). The same POWER that conquered the grave LIVES in ME (Ephesians 1:18-20). This is LIFE changing. Powerful. Doesn't get any better than this. If this truth doesn't make you want to jump up and down, worship, give HIM praise, please take a minute and check your pulse...

By receiving his GOOD, we can then and ONLY then give goodness to others. Bring justice to the unjust. Serve the unlovely. Dont' get me wrong, earlier when I discussed the world's view of good as doing good deeds, I wasn't downplaying or saying we shouldn't do good. But in order to truely DO good we must FIRST understand the definition of good. Without the Lord, our good deeds stop at that. Just a deed. But in the power saving grace of Jesus, who is good, it is only then that we can truely pass goodness on. It is only through Christ that it becomes more than just a deed. This is the call of the local Church. We are to give goodness to others. Bring justice. Be the hands and feet of Christ. Afterall, the SAME power that rose Christ lives in ME and every believer. Let this change your every thought, word, and action.

He is GOOD.

Back in Business...

We're back in business with a new name, new look, and new location-back in the good 'ole US of A! I thought it was only appropriate that we change the name since we are no longer in Oz. Thus, "Brian and Erika's Aussie Tales," no longer fit. However, this crazy, amazing, wonderful adventure the Lord's placed us on is NOT over, so stay tuned for ramblings on love, ministry, and just life with us!