After a night full of chronic coughing, chills, sweats, burning sensation in my nasal cavity, and really anything else that did NOT include sleeping, I decided to go to the doctor. My precious hubs took me to the doctor first thing on Wednesday morning. I must back up and say 2 weeks prior to this, I went to the doctor and found out I had a bacterial infection. Got some great drugs. End of story. Or so I thought. Back to present day, the doctor informed me on Wednesday that the zpack of antibiotics did NOT clear up the bacterial infection and it actually got worse. I had pneumonia. What? I don't think this doctor understood. I didn't have TIME for pneumonia. I had a full week and NO time for sitting in bed sick. As my to do list for the week was whirling around in my head I heard my doctor, "Erika, Erika...." I snapped back to reality to hear his strict instructions. He went on to tell me he was going to prescribe some heavy duty anitbiotics, but I needed to be in bed the REST of the week and then take it easy for the next couple of weeks. I think his exact words were "SLOW DOWN" until you feel 100%. If you know me, those are dirty words. Slow down? Does he understand my week? Or month of April for that matter? There is NO time to slow down. However, my coughing fits and exhausted state won over. I was just gonna have to do just that. Slow down. Sleep. Let myself be sick.... And this is where God began to work...
Before I go on, I must brag on my hubs. He has been nothing short of AMAZING through all of it. He has waited on me hand and foot. My love for him has only grown.
As I was lying in bed, absolutely miserable (feeling VERY sorry for myself), the Lord stirred my Spirit to pick up my Bible. "Really, God?! Now?! I can barely hold my head up." But I've argued enough with the Lord to know that he ALWAYS wins, so I decided to cut it short and just be obedient. I grabbed my Bible. And I began read story after story of women who used what they had to minister to others and bring glory to God. And I knew God was asking the same of me, "Erika what is in your hand. Right now. What do you have?" All I had in my hand was a kleenex. Ha! But in all seriousness, I didn't understand why God was asking me this question NOW. There wasn't anything I could do lying in bed with pneumonia. "God I don't have ANYTHING in my hand. Wait until next week. I'll use whats in my hand next week. But I can't do anything now." I closed my bible, and I went back to feeling sorry for myself. But that nagging question kept me from my pity party. "Whats in YOUR hand, Erika?" I gave up. Again. Grabbed my bible, journal, and kept studying these women's stories that all used what the good Lord put in their hand. And I noticed something about EACH woman in all these different stories, they used what God gave them AT THAT MOMENT. They didn't wait until they were in a position of more influence, power, or had more time. They used what they had at that moment. Let me show you.
In 2 Kings 4:8-17, 8:1-6 we find the story of the woman of Shunem. She wasn't, in the world's eyes, anything special. She wasn't a queen. Didn't have a lot of money. Wasn't in a position of power. She was a simple woman who used what she had, in this case her home, as a place of ministry. Later on when tragedy threatened to hit her household she maintained the right attitude and right atmosphere in her home, despite circumstances. She used what was in her hand...
The 1st chapter of Ruth, we see a broken Naomi who has LOST everything. But Ruth used what was in her hand. She refused to leave Naomi. She was loyal to her desolate mother-in-law. She didn't wait until she'd made enough money, or earned a position of prestige. She used what she had. "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severly, if anything but death separated you and me," (vs 16-17). Ruth used what was in her hand...
The story of Abigail, found in 1 Samuel 25, shows us that despite her wicked husband she used what was in her hand. She showed sound judgement, prudence, and a sober mind in her response to her husband's insulting behaviour toward David and his men. Because she used what was in her hand, she prevented her household from ruin.
I can recall so many times reading these stories of God using these AMAZING women and thinking, I can't wait for God to raise me up. I can't wait until God gives me my platform. I'm gonna do great things for him. And I don't think I'm alone in this thinking. So many times we tell God, "I'm gonna do great things for you...one day." "When you give me 100 people in my ministry, we're gonna do great things for you." Or "God when you raise me up as a person of influence in my community, we're gonna see a great revival." When I read these phenomenal stories over the other day, the ONE thing that struck me was, they USED what was in THEIR hand RIGHT then. They didn't wait until they had more money. Or power. Or influence. They used what God had placed in their hand. At that VERY moment. In that specific circumstance.
I'm typing you from Day 5, on the couch, with pneumonia. But I'm using whats in my hand. I'm not waiting for my circumstance to change.
What's in YOUR hand? For such a time is this...
